Trust- worth it?

Hello. I know it has been ages I have not contributed anything to this blog. Anyhow today would be my last entry for 2010 and I'd like to share this cool black and white artistic image above. Can u see a word from that piece of pattern? Yes, before the blog is fill with dust and rust the topic is about trust.

TRUST. It is something so easy to say but yet so arduous to attain. Yes you want trust to last. However there is no vouch that it will adhere in a long period of time. Sometimes in worst scenario it does not exist at all. Metaphorically speaking trust is like a balloon. To enable the balloon to float in the air, you got to fill it with air. So in order for you to gain trust you have to learn to trust back. Apparently it takes just a minute to destroy trust but consumes longer time to gain it. Now applying back to the balloon metaphor with just a poke of a prickly object, POP! There goes away that balloon in a blink of an eye after all the hard work of filling it with air. *sigh* Damaged and torn into pieces on the cold marbled floor :-(

In other words every effort in building that trust foundation will collapse in just a split second after a looong gazillion years added those tears, thousands of quarrels and countless reconciliations. But demolish that worry and wary my friend, because in life there is a thing called Karma and it will do you justice eventually. Trust yourself first before you can open up to trust others. Of course I’ve heard of the quote [DTA] Don’t Trust Anybody because yeah it is a risky world out there and it is definitely NOT eee-zeyh!


emo- reign

Today it was raining heavily and it was pouring endlessly, it has been raining for long hours and several days. The cloud was dark, the atmosphere was soaked with gloomy air and solitude reigns. Yes sadness refused to make his way out to the exit door of my purpled room. It lingers more often and creeps into my vein instantly. As I watched the rain dropped on my window a sudden tear dropped on my cheek. The room was filled with intensity of sad vibe as my ears were serenaded by melancholy music which helped me to convinced myself that I was indeed depressed.

I know that everybody is bestow with problems which supposedly used as a mechanism in human learning and growing process. Nevertheless this time around this problem seems to dominates my mind and affects my equilibrium. Hence I am sad. Correction no I am not sad, I am
BEING sad. Mentioning on the subject matter of sadness, my good friend Mija used to correct me in using the right and proper words to address ones feelings. She says using different words does make a huge different on the way we look at things. You are not sad you are just being sad. Thus by inserting the word BEING inevitably signifies that the sadness is only temporary and it will go away sooner or later, instead of putting yourself as the main subject of sadness. Even though now she's far away in Doha, Qatar I would always remember her words of wisdom. Thanx Mija for correcting me and opening me up to a new perspective and always been there for me in the past.

I guess depression and devastation is part and parcel of life. Everybody will go through another sorrow chapter with probably different event, stage, script and actors. Life is like a spinning roulette where you gotta take the risk because the circle will eventually bring you back to the same point you've been before. Don't be afraid to fall and moreover don't be afraid to cry. My dearest friend Bana once said to me that, "
you just gotta think of something bigger to demolish the smaller petty things that are poisoning your brain cell". My friend also quoted and dedicated Ne Yo's song to me; So You Can Cry (parts of lyrics below) to unruffled the tangled heart. Well thank you for another word of encouragement my friend.

Some random person also told me to set my mind that
"not everything that we plan is a prerequisite to our happiness". If it fails and falls take a chill pill and move on. I know its easier to said than done but somehow you gotta have faith and confidence in yourself to walk thru this pebbled, jagged, bumpy and rough path that we called life. My friend Modjo on the other hand always reminds me to live life to the fullest! Just as I thought I was all alone in my dark bleak room, locking up myself from the world here comes all the people who were actually there to aid me when i'm down in the dumps. There are alot of people who cherish me hence I shall not remain in this kingdom of misery as it brings me nothing but destruction. So long sadness, it is sad to say that I'm officially OVER you!

Life isn't long.
There will be pain but life goes on.
With everyday a brand new song.
But if you'd rather stay at home
let me do you a favor.

I'll ask the sun to shine away from you today so you can cry.
(If that's what you want, alright.)
I'll ask the clouds to bring the rain for you today so you can cry.
(If that's what you want, alright.)

I know that healing takes time.
Even your heart has a phase.
Ah, but how much time are you gonna take?
Too much would be a mistake.

The first word from a baby's mouth MA-MA!

My beloved Mama, Jariah Baba

Mother & Daughter snap.

Mothers Day gifts: flowers, chocs and cookies

The moment a baby utter his first word it would usually be MA-MA! Mama is indeed the simplest word to verbalize but yet carries the most vital and powerful person on earth our mother. Without our mother we would not be here today and i wont be writing this as well. In return there is the Mothers Day that usually falls on May every year. (i wonder why?) However my mama says "Mothers Day should be celebrated everyday." hehe. (oh yes minus the flowers, chocolates n gifts) Instead the gift that we all should give and lavish her everyday is with the most priceless gift = LOVE. Mothers sacrifices are indescribable, you cannot calculate all the amount of energy, money and everything else that she has done through out your life because it is simply unquantifiable. I'm so fortunate to have such an amazing mother Jariah Baba, she is the most compassionate woman and definitely irreplaceable. I'd like to convey my utmost gratitude to her and will always pray for her happiness, pleasure and health. This year my mama received more flowers than before and I want nothing more than to see her happy. Ma, I
love you with all my heart for eternity n yes you are my everything!

p/s: A Song For Mama...
(Boyz 2 Men)

You taught me everything
And everything you've given me
I always keep it inside
You're the driving force in my life, yeah

There isn't anything
Or anyone I can be
And it just wouldn't feel right
If I didn't have you by my side

You were there for me to love and care for me
When skies were grey
Whenever I was down
You were always there to comfort me
And no one else can be what you have been to me
You'll always be you always will be the girl
In my life for all times

Mama, mama you know I love you
Oh you know I love you
Mama, mama you're the queen of my heart
Your love is like
Tears from the stars
Mama, I just want you to know
Lovin' you is like food to my soul

You're always down for me
Have always been around for me even when I was bad
You showed me right from my wrong
Yes you did

And you took up for me
When everyone was downin' me
You always did understand
You gave me strength to go on

There was so many times
Looking back when I was so afraid
And then you come to me
And say to me I can face anything
And no one else can do
What you have done for me
You'll always be
You will always be the girl in my life

Bake-Cake. colourful cuppies anyone?

My Colorful Vanilla Cup Cakes with heart-shaped toppings =)

Cuppie cakes being heated in the oven

My first baby cuppie out from the oven

The egg and butter the important ingredients

The bday gal (bunny head) with her gift, Burberry Sheer Parfum.

Baking cupcakes has actually been listed in my To Do List during the hols. Woohoo! to my surprise (and everyone else especially my mom) my very first attempt of baking cup cakes turned out to be a success! Well at least i proved some people wrong that it doesn't mean if i dun cook fancy dishes im lousy at the kitchen. I took the recipe from a friend who happens to be quite pro in this industry (tq sifu!)hehe. In addition the fact that i did it all by myself would deemed this as an official self-achievement. *round of applause* haha. Not to sound cocky or anything but honestly cooking and kitchen is so not my thang! Not that im incompetent towards this culinary field but i'd say that im more expert in finishing up the meal rather than preparing it. hehe. Nevertheless baking cupcake requires some patience, no i rephrase actually ALOT of patience. Moreover u do need passion to corroborate with ur patience =)

The whole idea came about when i voluntarily offered myself to bake cupcakes when my mom asked me on what to do and get for my sister's bday (on 5 May and rite now she's celebrating her bday in Hong Kong Disneyland). Well to compensate quarelling time with my sister besides to make a point that i can bake without getting anyone diarrhea i took the challenge! Taa-daa! a vanilla with colorful heart shaped toppings cupcakes were made by these two hands of mine *smirk* My sister was tremendously overwhelmed by my effort. My family, my mom especially was astonished by the result. hehe. But for me i felt i accomplished something which is very new to me and it made me feel good. Self satisfaction plays an essential role in boosting and increasing ones self-esteem infact it makes u feel happy;)

Furthermore I purposely chose the heart-shaped toppings as it symbolises sentimental, affection and love values that i have towards my family. They are like the colourful toppings on my cupcakes because my family colours up my life and without them it'd be also like baking a cake without butter or egg. You're just missing the most important ingredient. Hence just cherish the moments you have with your love ones, make them happy, make them a cake! haha. However it doesnt matter what you give the main key is your thought that matters isn't it? and when you make other people happy eventually you will gain happiness in return. So what are you waiting for bake a cake!

p/s: For more details and recipe do contact me. haha.

Brokenhearted hero-THE IRONMAN 2! (seriously, like literally)

There's a hero in everyone of YOU

Iron Laydeyh goin off to the cinema with her suit ;)

Sometimes you gotta run before you can walk..” – Tony Stark

Quoted from Ironman 1. I particularly like that quote because it somehow illustrates a motivational and inspirational aspect. Today I went for a late nite movie with my family and yes obviously it’s the continuation of Ironman1 hence 2. Finally I managed to get tix after 3 disappointing visits to the cinema as it was packed and horded as hell. Phew! Yea what do you expect it is indeed the first week the movie was shown. The movie overall consist of unchallenging roller-coaster ride, some comical dialogue, star-studded and narcissism.

Furthermore that villain guy (quite decent for a bad guy I must say) Whiplash or Ivan Vanko actually reminds me of ‘Undertaker’ from WWF. No no, not the wildlife organization the World Wrestling Federation. Haha. (Yes I used to be a big fan and it became a constant addiction, tnx to my bro’s influence) But I have to give credit to the make up artist for putting excellent effort in making him look like one up-to-date stylish antagonist. I mean it’s kinda cool with appealing highlites on his hair and of course the fully tattooed body. Owh I loike! I have a fetish for hot-bod hunk with tattoos e.g: Wentworth Miller in Prison break!! *drools*

I was rather captivated with the witty jokes besides the melee action and Scarlett’s fabulous bod! *jaw-dropping* In my point of view the script writer did a god job in preparing a brilliant counter-response dialogue. Not only it symbolizes metal power but also denotes mental power. I presume, those two essential powers suppose to come jointly or simultaneously in order to be somebody and not just anybody. It is the essence to survive or to smell triumph in life. To be a superhero in ones life you gotta have the strength, the brain and also the faith. However you gotta be a hero to YOURSELF first before you can be to others. It’s like what they say, you are what u believe and believe what you are ought to be. Impossible is nothing. If you think you failed, well my friend think again without failure you are never a better winner. Even Ironman makes mistakes, heart broken like literally and that hero can also bleed. Thus be that hero who makes mistakes, bleeds and eat strawberries. Because let me tell you this, believe it when I say there’s a hero that rest in each and everyone of us and we ain’t need any DRON or Ironsuit to verify that. Period.

*Hero by Mariah Carey on the background* hehe ;)

I Rrreoww... Do You?

the roar

the meow

is a combination of roar n meow, in between a lion and a cat, the wildness and the tameness. It signifies fiestiness but yet potrays cuteness.
There's the element of naughty and innocent playing the role of Miss You-treat-me-like-an-angel-and-i'll-be-ur-lil-devil. hehe ;) In other words its a perfect balance of not being too fierce or too fragile. Im a sinner, Im a saint and i do not feel ashame. Well hey let's be honest everyone is not born with halo on their heads or worse born with spiky tails and fangs. It is up to us to mould our character may it be good or bad. Because at the end of the day you can lie to others but NOT to urself. And personally i think Rrreoww just sounds sexay! *emphasize more on the rrrr* ;)

Nhow frankly this is my very first attempt in writing a blog. I'd love to explore this new way of conveying and expressing ones i am indeed the conventional journal type of gal (I had it since i was 10 years old). Well i mean like why not get involve with the technology, perhaps I shall expand my horizons and embrace the satisfaction after. In fact my friend who reckon this 'possible new interest' to me says, "My little sister aged 9 and her friends are so obsessed with blogs they wrote about evrything even about school toilets!" oh my, i remember during my time the only available mode of interacting besides house phones is the snail mail. haha. Nways i'll indulge and sacrifice myself with this blogging thingy more often as i'll be having my semester break for approximately 2 months from now. Thus I'd definitely keep attacking with more sizzling but refreshingly original stuff together with my claws n paws ;)